part deux

Our local weatherpersons have died and gone to Weatherpersons' Heaven. It's snowing... AGAIN. As my husband would put it, "We've got some accumulation, people!!"

A handful of flight have been canceled, a few roads have been temporarily closed, and perpetual "Winter Storm" breaking news stories continue to interrupt our regularly scheduled programming. For the second time in less than two weeks, we're up to our knees in powder... whoopie!

eve

Although snowflakes are falling, the soul-warming smell of Christmas is in the air, lights twinkle up and down my snow-packed street, burning behind me is the perfectly cozy fire and dozens of colorful boxes are piled high beneath our tree... although the shopping is done, the cards have been sent, the presents are wrapped and the kiddos are nestled all snug in their beds... somewhere down deep, I feel sad.

"Look at the people to your right and your left. Think about the people in your life for whom you are most thankful," Michael encouraged earlier today.

The glaring reality for me in that moment was that there was an empty chair to my left and an empty chair to my right. As my children colored and played in the nursery down the hall and my husband chauffeured last-minute travelers around town, I sat in service alone.

"He has no boundaries... he works too much... I'm trying to understand, but frankly, I'm pissed..." my anger erupted inside, spilled down my face and landed beneath me in a pool of disappointment.

Arise, O God, plead Your own cause...

Paula, Niki, Kristi, Wendy... Paul, Maya, Cole... Mom, Dad, Tolu, Folayo... quickly I scribbled the first names that came to mind as more names flooded my heart and overflowed onto the little piece of paper in my lap... Karen, Dick, Liz, David, Jason, Ava... Lauren, Leah, Juli, Sara, Lib, Vic... on and on and on.

We give thanks to You, O God, we give thanks! For Your wondrous works declare that Your name is near...

Indeed. In that moment and this one, I am bummed. Yet, somewhere even deeper, I feel full. It's not the season or the presents. It's not the cozy fire, the crisp air or the warm home. It's really isn't even the the family or the friends. It is You.

So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger." And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

"Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!"

most wonderful

There is that day near the end of November when the shift occurs. Seemingly in an instant, the air turns crisp and smells delicious. Days last a moment, then are quickly covered by the thick blanket of night. The pace of life quickens to an eventual dash for the season's end.

I love this time of year because I can't help but to pause... often. I remember and think about the people in my life - the people that I love and even those that I don't. Invariably I assume a somber, contemplative posture and reflect on the past - about the good, the bad, about the life lessons I can leave behind and those I can take into the future.

I remember my Father and his Son... I think about that night, that life. The woman and her husband. Without fail I am thankful.

fallen

Yesteday, I marveled at the beauty of birth.
I watched a child breathe her first breath.
Tonight, I have been leveled to my knees as I wonder at the brevity and uncertainty of life.
I feel sad and small and broken.

Today, an american soldier fell. The son of my sister in Christ died in Iraq. As he shed blood thousands of miles away, a mother down the street and near my heart lost her son. Two children lost their brother and a young bride lost her bridegroom.

Today, as one daughter's life began, a son's life ended.

Tonight my heart leaps for one family and bleeds for another. Each life so precious, so signficant, yet small. I feel happy and sad. So, so sad.

a breath of heaven

Today, at 2:05 p.m., Morgan Elizabeth was born in Lafayette, Colorado. I was blessed with the honor of supporting and walking beside her parents through 14 of the 19 hours they labored. This afternoon, I received a grand reward for my part in their journey - I watched her life begin.

Oh, I am overwhelmed. I am humbled and in complete awe. Never, have I witnessed anything more beautiful than the miracle of childbirth. I am convinced that there is nothing more breathtaking that one can behold on this side of heaven. Tonight, I am touched. I am full. I am SO sleepy.

Thank you, Lord.

chinny chin-chin

Motherhood has blessed and changed me in so many ways. I've learned more of what it means to love, to give, to sacrifice. I've mastered the art of multi-tasking, I've really come to appreciate the simple pleasure of animal crackers and I can almost carry on three (or more) simultaneous conversations.

I'm warming to the idea of "company" in the bathroom, and I'm learning contentment and even joy when drowning in laundry, diapers, spit-up and all sorts of other unimaginable things. I've grown... literally. My bottom has spread, my belly is "fuller" and my feet are nearly two sizes larger post-babies.

Changes. They are to be expected... of course. Nevertheless, nothing prepared me for this. I thought it was a fluke.

Maybe about 6 months ago, I noticed something I'd NEVER noticed before. I spied this curly little something at the bottom of my chin. Naively, I tried to brush it away, but it wouldn't come off. After further examination, I realized: that's a hair... AND IT'S GROWING OUT OF MY CHIN!?!?!?

Please keep in mind that I was the girl who innocently wondered every time I was in a hair or nail salon, "Why in the world would any woman need to wax her lip or her chin?"

Well, now I know.

I stretched the hair to its length in horror. "How long has it been there???? Why didn't anyone tell me??" I wondered. With tweezers, I tugged on the little nuisance.

"Gone... Oh, wait...."

To my dismay, I found another. Then another. Then another. FOUR CURLY HAIRS?! That's a beard!!! Somehow, in my naivitee, I thought that once I plucked, my nightmare would be over. Sadly, I was wrong.

In front of the mirror this morning, as I transitioned from asleep to awake, I noticed a pimple. Just as I was set to operate, I discovered that my new little companion had not stopped by on his own. He brought four curly-haired friends along with him.

I'll never be alone again! Yet another unexpected blessing of motherhood.


PLEASE NOTE: I promise that I will try to keep my facial hair under control if you promise not to stare at my chin every time you talk to me in the future.