31 May 2006


Monday morning, marked a milestone on my road to 26.2. I ran in the Bolder Boulder (along with 46,000 fellow Coloradans), a 10K race that concludes with the elation of friends and family in the CU Boulder football stadium. It was a good time. I expected to feel stressed, nervous... tired. Surprisingly it was exhilirating, thrilling and just FUN. What a trip to be one in the midst of thousands!

To my surprise, I didn't win the race. As a matter of fact, my finish time was more than double that of the winner! Nevertheless, it was a success. I ran on pace and finished within a minute of my goal (even with a potty break at mile 4). That feels good.

"I'm really proud of you, Love," Paul said with a hug and a kiss.

"Momma, you did a good job down dare," Maya affirmed me and crawled up into my lap.

"Now, I'm inspired," our friend Donna said after she watched me and many others cross the finish line.

Even Cole beamed
and soaked my face with a kiss when I snuggled him after the race. How could I not leave the stadium with my head held high?

Still, the road ahead is daunting. A 10K is a far cry from a marathon, especially considering that I had to go to the bathroom after 1K this time around!

In all sincerity, I left this experience feeling accomplished, empowered... bolder.

Just 20 miles to go.

22 May 2006


We sat around the dinner table. Celebrating. It was a wonderful evening.

She leaned over and chuckled sardonically, "So, are you still going to medical school?"

"No," I responded without explanation, "Why?"

"Because some people have ambition," she said with a patronizing grin.


I'm not sure why I didn't say anything. I didn't defend myself. I just returned to my meal and my thoughts for the remainder of the evening.

A few days later, I am still fuming.

Does the fact that I chose to put my professional aspirations up on a shelf mean that I lack ambition? Does the fact that these aspirations have changed as I have struggled through my difficult questions and realized my priorities mean that I lack ambition? Does the fact that my days often consist of poopy diapers, naps, laundry, constant cleaning and perpetual frustrations with a toddler mean that I lack ambition? Does the fact that I have chosen to be around for my children’s milestones as their primary caregiver during the most formative years of their lives mean that I lack ambition? Does the fact that I wrestle almost daily with the humility required of "just being a mom
" mean that I lack ambition? Does the fact that I am walking in obedience to what I believe the Lord has called me to today mean that I lack ambition????

With all due respect, I think not.