14 May 2007

today

It's not that I haven't had anything to say. There has been something to be said every day, actually. There are countless pictures and stories and anecdotes and the most random of thoughts tucked away just waiting to be unleashed. I guess I've been a little preoccupied, a little behind, a little tongue-tied.

The last month... the last six months have been... I'm not really even sure what the word is. SO much has happened. So much has changed. I've grown and been stretched and been challenged and been blessed more than I can articulate. There is a new post in my head on at least one but more like two or three occasions everyday. And now, I'm backed up.

Today, the post in my head was about my Mother's Day. I was going to write about the lovely and simply perfect day I spent with my three favorite people on the planet. For no reason and every reason in particular, it was one of my favorite days that I have lived. All day yesterday, I kept thinking how blessed I am. Much more than usual, I was intensely aware of that truth. I relished in every moment of my day - acutely aware, absolutely thankful. Today was supposed to be the day that I stopped thinking and started typing.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Indiana, a mother, a daughter, a big sister once again has suffered the unthinkable.

One moment, my beautiful friend, Juli who with her family had just begun to come out on the other side of heart break, was making a latte for her little brother. And the next... once again?!?! I don't know how to say it or to wrap my brain around it. I'm sorry, but WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?! This isn't right. It is SO unfair. It is heartbreaking and tragic and surreal and stupid and so difficult to understand, let alone accept...

2 comments:

Katy said...

seriously, abi. what the hell is going on? is it because we are so "connected" now with blogs and such that we just encounter heartbreak more often or is it really getting worse?

i'm so sorry for your friend. i don't get it.

i love you.

Paula said...

Grief and joy. Mixed.

On a lighter note: You're it!
http://gracereign.blogspot.com/2007/05/im-itmy.html