eleven days

1 day, 2 days... 5 days, 6 days... 8 days... 10 days... ELEVEN DAYS LATE.

I spent the better part of the week before last absolutely FREAKING OUT as I tried to imagine life with a newborn once again. In fact, I'm having hot flashes and breaking out in hives just thinking about it.

It's not that I didn't love that time. I did, but I'm glad it's over. There was something - many things - SO sweet about those baby days. But for me, there is something even sweeter about watching my babies become persons. I love to watch them walk, talk, play, run, think, reason (sort of)... engage. I loved cleaning out my basement and giving away our baby stuff. I LOVED saying goodbye to diapers the first time, and I CAN'T WAIT to do it again. I have loved discovering the special little things that make Maya, Maya and Cole, Cole. I try to treasure every day, but I am also so eager to watch their lives, their stories unfold.

Well, in case you were wondering, I'm not pregnant.

Cole turns two in eleven days, which means that a week from Sunday I will no longer have a "baby" in my home. Wow.

There is a part of me that still can't believe it and even feels a twinge of sadness about it. But for the most part I feel glad. I feel relieved. I feel thankful, and I feel blessed. I have been given an amazing daughter and an equally amazing son. I have been given 3+ years of the indescribable blessing of parenthood and hopefully, a lifetime to come. I no longer have babies, but kiddos.

At the end of those eleven days, was a minus sign - a sign that affirmed that it's time for my family to move on - to move forward. That feels good. REALLY good.

So, this is what doesn't feel so good. The fact that Cole turns two in eleven days means that I had two babies the last time I had somewhat professional pictures taken of my two kids. It's been a year. A year?!?!? Perhaps it's time to head back to Kiddie Kandids.

Is it hot in here?