enough

That's it. I'm done.

My attitude has sucked for nearly a month, and I apologize. I have been spinning, spiraling, griping, nagging, whining, and frankly, I'm getting tired of myself. I've chosen to focus on that which is missing and in the process, I've failed to see and to appreciate the beauty in absence. Sometimes NOT knowing is the best gift there is, because it forces one (ahem, me) to loosen up and to let go.

Go ahead, Ab. Lose control. GOOD ON YOU!

Life is belly laughter. It is meant to be lived out loud. I need to let go and laugh a little. A lot. I need to LIGHTEN UP. I need to give myself and everyone else a freaking break! Where is the grace. Where is the joy? As the Black-eyed Peas ask, Where is the love?

It's here. It's there. It's everywhere. I love and I am loved. What else matters?

Yes. Indeed, I am done. I am ready to move on. I am ready (or at least willing) to loosen my death grip. I want to learn. I want to trust. I want to let my hair down, roll in the mud and play until it gets dark. OK, who am I kidding? I can't stand being dirty, and this staying up late is just not my thing. But I'm willing to try!

Help me. Teach me. Tell me... how do I let go?

I suppose asking isn't really the point, is it?

OK, so I won't ask. I'll just be, and I'll let you know how it goes.

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P.S. Happy Birthday, little sister!!