17 August 2006

secrets revealed

Behind this door lie secrets.
Deep, dark... DIRTY secrets.

(imagine, if you will, the dramatic theme song from
"2001: A Space Odyssey," and insert here)

bah.......... Bah.......... BAH.......... BAH, BUM

bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum...

bah.......... Bah.......... BAH.......... BAH, BUM

bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum...

... you get the point.

"What's down here?" guests in our home often wonder as they notice the mysterious door they've never seen opened.

"Oh this? It's nothing..." I have often responded, "but, look over here..."

Like any web of lies it began small. It was harmless, really.

The basement. It was the fate of the items with "destination to be determined" when we moved into our home two years ago. These were the boxes that came out of storage in California - the little things we weren't quite sure what to do with. The innocuous decision not to make a decision wasn't a big deal... at first. Paul and I mutually agreed that we would never have one of those basements.

As we unpacked boxes, filled drawers, decorated walls and arranged furniture, the empty packages, the unknowns, the untouchables... they all made there way down to the basement.

Meanwhile, the harmless little pile of nothings grew... and grew... and grew...

Soon, anything and everything - the "don't-want-to-deal-with-it" stuff, the "oh-I-might-need-this-for-later" stuff, the "once-we-have-more-room-for-it" stuff - oh yes, all of it found its way down to the basement.

It's gotten to the point that I don't even go down to the basement. I just open the door, stand at the top of the stairs and throw the "oh-I'll-just-put-it-in-the-basement" stuff down the steps. Then, I turn around, shut the door and go on living a lie.

As ashamed as I am to admit it, our little pile of sweet nothings has turned into this... cue suspenseful horror film track

They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Well, I HAVE A PROBLEM!!! MY BASEMENT IS A DISASTER. It's dirty, It's disorganized, it has creepy-crawlies all over the place and it has become an ominous mess that has spiraled out of control. I NEED HELP!!!

Ah, that feels better already.

It is important for you to know that we've decided to put a stop to the lies. We are implementing a 4-step program with high hopes of triumph (Lord, help us).

Step One: the piles - keep, sell, donate, toss.
Step Two: the garage sale (oh my)
Step Three: the shelves, the storage bins...
Step Four: the recovery

It's going to be a long road. There may be casualties.

Keep us in your prayers.


Niki said...

Atleast you said 4 steps - I don't know if there is a 12 step for this stuff! haha How about this: TLC baby! Keep watching shows like "Clean Sweep" and "Mission: Organization" for inspiration. You can do it. I'll help you with a garage sale...love the pictures!

Folayo said...

Oh my God, that is SO funny...that's worse than Dad's basement!!!! Hahahahahaha

Leah said...


sandi said...

Oh my, what a coincidence. This very morning I thought to myself, "Sandi, you must clean out that ridiculous basement of yours." I have boxes that fit into every one of your "stuff" categories. Where to begin? When I read your blog this morning, I don't remember when I laughed so hard. Thank you for sharing your dirty little secret...alas, I am not alone!

TheDimosFour said...

let me know if you need some help, especially if it takes place sometime in september.

Lori said...

Just ran across your blog, randomly. (I find it interesting to see what other people choose to put out there in cyberspace!) Love the basement story-- at least you have a sense of humor about it! WE have a spare bedroom that is in similar shape-- yet my husband has no qualms about taking people IN THERE! (Yet, he feels the need to say, "Excuse the tornado," about the rest of the house, if anyone happens to show up at our door unexpectedly!) Funny....

Good luck with your basement, and feel free to visit our blog: www.mellofamilyblurb.blogspot.com.


Paula said...

Wow. I'm proud of you. Pictures and everything!