freshman 15

Oh, and speaking of addictions...

(You'll have to forgive, but I'm on a roll. I can't stop now! Let's see how many more posts I can write between now and tomorrow night... Besides, no matter how great the show is, I just can't end the year on Grey's Anatomy... although I (unlike you, sorry) know where this is going, and I DEFINITELY can't end here either... how trite! I digress.)

So, what I was going to say is that I have another addiction: an addiction to food (especially sweet food) that has spiraled out of control. It was easier to ignore when I was pudgy and pregnant and even while I was bountiful and breastfeeding. But now... it's just not becoming. For whatever reason (perhaps because it is the 30th of December) my mirrors have started working properly again. What a mess!

I can just hear some of you now, "NO, not YOU, Abi!!"

Rrrrrriiiiiiiggggghhhhtttttt... fibbers!

I don't have to be thunderous and thick just because I'm thirty. I can be thin... Oh who am I kidding, no I can't!!! Scratch that... I can be... I can be... (I'm trying to think of another "t-h" adjective, but the perfect one eludes me... ah well). You know what I mean.

Just because I'm a mom in my thirties doesn't mean I have to let myself go, hack off my hair, hike up my jeans over my paunch belly, trade in the keys of my truck for those of a minivan and throw a denim potato sack over my swollen self for those "special" occasions. I can still be cute. I can be toned. I can be chiseled.
Heck, I can be svelte.

(Oh dear, I feel a Bridget Jones style, early midlife, pathetically banal resolution coming on...)

Sadly, my reflection reveals that I found the freshman 15 I once lost (except that it's 20, not 15, and I'm 30, not 18). There is NO excuse. The simple law of gravity indicate that it is no longer appropriate to eat three bowls (troughs) of ice cream just because the carton says "cookies and cream" and "light." There are plenty of women with more kids, more responsibilities and far less time than me, who have it together and have found the balance.

I hesitate to continue writing, because the next time you see me with a triple cheeseburger in one hand and a double chocolate milkshake in the other (OK, I'm being dramatic), you'll have my number. But you know what, that's probably a good thing.

I'm unnecessarily chubby, and I'm tired of carrying around the weight of an extra toddler. I only signed up for two kids! I need to grow a dose of will-power, and I need some accountability! Not sure what it is going to look like, but enough is enough. Suggestions? I'd love to hear them.

Alright. I'm going to find something to eat (kidding!).